How many times have you looked at a cover, picked up the book and the synopsis was just a disaster? When you purchased a book online, what was it about the blurb that tipped the scale?
I’ve been thinking about blurbs for a while (as in, I have been thinking that I need to write one, but never managed to will myself to do it, because let’s face it, it’s hard!). It’s like introducing yourself to someone you really, really want to impress. The potential readers are the super hot guy/super amazing performer/your idol, and my blurb is the nerdy girl with braces and Coke bottle glasses (I feel I can say this as I used to be her, although my glasses were fake and had no prescription at the time).
I made what I feel is a pretty book cover (see it here), but now I need something to go with it (that’s right, I can’t escape the blurb!). Here is my first attempt at it (and hey, if anyone has comments, good, bad or ugly, I’ll take them!) for Fay Storms:
Fifer is many things: a thief and caravan guide, a step daughter, an apprentice, and a half breed-part giftless and part Fay, the legendary and mysterious creatures as old as the desert. Her glowing green eyes set her apart, spark frightened glances and mutterings, cause the crowd to part as she passes; but Fifer has learned long ago that she does not need the approval of strangers. She is aloof, stubborn and daring-until her partner goes missing, and she is offered a job that may prove beyond her skills.
Arkadius is the Master in training, and he can feel in his gut that his time is coming. How will he lead the Aestus, the brotherhood of power-gifted and secretive warriors? Would the Aestus chieftains accept him, or will the brotherhood fall apart in Arkadius’s hands? The young man must take great risks to ensure his people’s survival.
So, would you take the plunge and read this book? Thanks for your comments!
Well hello there my new Goodreads buddy.
I think you’re off to a good start here, but the first paragraph about Fifer is a little heavy on the description. For example, you have: Her glowing green eyes set her apart, spark frightened glances and mutterings, cause the crowd to part as she passes
This is kind of redundant. Just saying something along the lines of, “Her glowing green eyes spark frightened glances and cause crowds to part,” gets the same point across in a less wordy way.
By contrast, Arkadius’ paragraph is good, but a little vague. We get that he is worried about the brotherhood crumbling under his rule, but why? Is something going on that would cause problems for him? Does his problem tie in with Fifer’s and cause them to have to team up? If so, I would include a third, smaller paragraph that kind of explains their dynamic and hooks the reader.
Something like: In order to (insert solution of problem here), Fifer and Arkadius are forced into an unlikely alliance. But complications arise when Fifer’s aggressive way of fighting clashes with the formal training of Arkadius. Can they put their differences aside and learn to work together, or will their stubbornness cause Aestus to fall?
I totally have no idea what is happening in the book, so all of that was just a quick example, but I’m sure you get what I’m saying. 🙂
Good luck! When you publish, I will be sure to buy it.
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NJ, you’re fantastic! Having feedback is making the blurb less daunting, now that I know what to work on 🙂
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No problem.
Maybe something even more helpful would be to check out http://queryshark.blogspot.com/
It’s a site dedicated to Query letters, but I mean… you have to include the gist of your book in those and the person reading and responding is an actual agent, so even if you don’t submit your own query letter, you can pick up a lot of really helpful advise just by seeing how she responds to others.
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